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Veggie Bloom Time

Why must plants torture us?  They can’t possibly have complex nervous systems, so how do they derive any pleasure from continually screwing around with us?  Yet, here they are, doing it anyway:
 

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This is pissing me right off, I tell you.  All the tomato seedlings were started inside in pure peat, hardened off on our fence shelves, and were not final-potted until they had at least two pairs of leaves.  The tomato on the left, spanking right along.  The tomato on the right, spindly and yellowing.  What the entire hell is that about?  The only difference is the pots…the one on the right has a small reservoir down in the bottom, though well away from where even the mature root ball will end up.  About half my 8 tomatoes are puny and yellowing, and the other half are monsters from some kind of radioactive waste dump horror movie.  Like this Carbon:
 

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Had to quit measuring it because my yardstick is now too short.  

Other delights in the garden today include the sprouting Jacob’s Cattle bush beans:
 

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The getting on up there soybeans:
 

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The blooms on the first round of pepper plants (Whitney, Red Bell, Paprika) that were started with the tomatoes back in January:
 

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A volunteer tomato plant from the compost that was added to this box:
 

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We’re going to let it grow here, despite it being well outside the screened pool enclosure, partly to see how it will go, and to potentially give the tree seedlings a little shade in the furnace blast that is July/August around here.  To that end I’ve been investigating hornworm defense today, and am thrilled to discover that BT handles them just fine, as do the little predator wasps attracted by companion plantings of dill and fennel.   Bonus!

The Delice De Table melon plant is ignoring the fact that it is only about five inches tall, and is literally covered in blooms:
 

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This crystal apple cucumber is the oddest plant I’ve ever seen.  Its stem is like a ribbon, flat and multi-layered:
 

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And the top of the three foot tall plant looks distinctly like a sunflower:
 

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Note the plethora of blooms though.  It’s all good.  For me anyway, this guy is having a rough day:
 

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And this guy got into some of the local mushrooms, I think:
 

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“I’M upside down?  No, YOU’RE upside down.”  

I think he needs an intervention.