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Too Cool For You

While innocently flipping through my RSS feeds today, I came across this article on Variety regarding the Pirates sequel that just opened. Curious as to how it was doing, being a fan, I clicked over…forgetting that Variety likes to think of itself as the “insider” mag for film industry types, and therefore exempt from proper usage of grammar and spelling. Some particularly egregious examples:”Local exhibs project a final cume in excess of $20 million.”

“As elsewhere in Europe, the actioner faces no real competish from fellow openers.”

“Reviews for “Pirates 3” from the Brit crix have been largely negative…”

WTF? Exhibs? Crix? Compe-fucking-tish??

“That’s just film industry jargon,” you say. No. That’s not jargon. That’s being too damned lazy to type out the entire word. Not to mention so seriously and insufferably full of themselves, and yet lacking basic wit, that they’ve had to resort to phoenetic truncations in the place of actual specialized terms and/or references.

Bathtub curve is jargon. Airplane rule is jargon. Fritterware is jargon.

I’ve met jargon, and you, Variety have no jargon.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go remove Variety from my RSS feeds, and try and find something to stop this twitch above my left eye.