Florida Backyard header image

All images © Daniel & Stacy Tabb and Boondock Studios

«   •   Home   •   »

The Idiot Parade

I swear to Zog, you people just crack me up. Three times this week I have seen someone whinge about “suppression of free speech” and each time the rocket scientist in question has been D-E-D dead wrong in attempting to apply that principle to the dealings of private citizens and businesses.In two cases, the whingers have been citizens of countries other than the United States, where the concept of “free speech” is QUITE open to interpretation, and not guaranteed by jack or shit. So how they think a private company in a completely different country is obligated in any fashion to jump to the defense of their libelous ramblings (yes, LIBELOUS) is an utter mystery. We (as the private company) will simply not become party to any little internecine warfare you pansies have going on with each other, nor will we allow the rest of our customer base to be affected by same. You lose, move on.

And here’s a hint…ending your argument with the succinct and ever-popular “Fuck you, assholes,” is SOOO not going to cause us to change our minds. Just in case you thought it somehow might.

In the third case, the whinger is at least a resident of the US, but seems to think that someone refusing to publish a review of her book somehow constitutes infringement of her freedom of speech. Now, in the US, freedom of speech is not only in our Bill of Rights, but it is right there at the top of the list. However, what Miss Published Author doesn’t seem to grasp is that unless the individual refusing to publish her actually collects a paycheck via Capitol Hill, her bleats of “oppression, wah!” mean precisely dick.

Follow me, people: Only the government of the United States of America has the capability to pass laws that potentially infringe on the rights of its citizens to engage in verbal diarrhea. (Delightfully, anyone can sue you at any time for said diarrhea but the burden of proof is on them.) The First Amendment says, and I quote:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

That means, in small words, that Congress can not make a law that tells the press what they can and can not print. Interpretation generally includes publications other than newspapers/magazines, but hey, you don’t see rejected authors whinging to publishing companies (who are, oh hey! PRIVATE companies) about infringement of their right to free speech, now do you?

Well, I suppose you do if they’re as mentally impaired as the three examples just quoted appear to be.

Note to self: Drink more, it helps with the pain behind your right eyeball.