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Reality Bytes

Yes, I do have pictures for you, I promise…I’m supposed to be taking it easy this week, though, which means sitting on the couch with an ice pack on my knee, and using Photoshop on the laptop is significantly less, er, fun, than doing it on the desktop.

So, let’s talk about reality shows instead!

But only the ones that require skills other than A) having a big mouth, B) having a big cup size, or C) making an ass of one’s self in public.

SYTYCD: I’ve mentioned this is my first year watching this show, as dance and I are not best pals, but I have seriously enjoyed this program. The kids are so NICE, and wicked talented. And the emphasis is on performance, dammit, not drama, manufactured or otherwise. I find myself really hoping that those who are eliminated really benefit from the exposure of being on the show and get nice high paying jobs…because they’re all so NICE!

It is also enjoyable to have judges who are not prone to fits of PMS (I’m looking at you, Cowell), and can actually give constructive criticism without temper tantrums. Though I swear if I could poke a spoon down Mary Murphy’s throat and dig out that damned scream, I surely would.

Who do I like to win? Hell, I don’t even know how the finale is structured. They’ve got two couples dancing? Or is it everyone for themselves? Joshua is more talented than Twitch (who is still seriously good), and Katee is more…evocative, I suppose, than Courtney. But Courtney is still damned good. It’s a matter of degrees between the two girls, I think. So who do YOU think is going to win? And someone tell me how the finale works, pls kthx.

Project Runway: Oh, how I love this show. I wanted to be a fashion designer one summer in my early teens. I had sketches of modular outfits littering my bedroom floor, architectural garments containing women whose cheekbones would cut glass. I wonder if my mother still has any of that stuff, it’d be (no doubt) hilarious to go through now. And my nom de sew…oh, I spent DAYS picking that out. I was going to change the face of fashion as….wait for it….ECHO VALENTINE.

Yeah, I was 13 once, shutup.

Anyway, this season’s crop of designers is possibly the best I’ve seen so far in the series. I confess I do not understand The Suede winning challenge #2 with that orful woven madness, and completely blame Natalie Portman. (For a midget she is apparently quite powerful.) Yeah, it was a cute silhouette, but the neckline was scary bad, and the bodice completely ate the model’s chest. Well, what there was of it.

You just have to feel sorry for the straight guys that wind up on the show, like Joe. They really seem to have no idea how to deal with the queen-y bitchfests, their eyes kind of glaze over, and I think they probably sleep on the couch in the apartment just out of sheer reflex.

Is it too much to ask for someone to take a piece of spare pipe and beat the living shite out of Stella? She’s not even amusing to watch, just endlessly, excessively grating. I predict every single thing she sends down the runway is going to have A) huge grommets, B) lacing, and C) leather in some form. It’s only Ep 3 and I am already quite tired of her and everything she’s doing.

I predict right now that Kelli is in the final three. She really stands out, and has from the beginning, with the all important “point of view” the judges love so much.

Oh, if anyone else was wondering about Nina Garcia’s apparent change in status (ie. FIRING) with Elle, Gawker has some interesting tidbits on that:

According to a tipster, Elle publisher Carol Smith signed a multimillion-dollar deal with Anne Klein to have Garcia—then an Elle staffer—do in-store appearance and promotions on behalf of the fashion brand. But Garcia refused to wear Anne Klein clothes at the appearances, because she believed it would be a “conflict of interest.” This put the huge endorsement deal in jeopardy, we hear, and everyone from Elle‘s editor-in-chief to former Hachette boss Jack Kliger was putting pressure on Garcia to give in and wear the damn clothes to keep the customer happy.

But Garcia was stubborn! By the time her final mandatory appearance for Anne Klein rolled around, says the source, the publisher actually drove to Garcia’s home and waited for her to make sure she wore an appropriately Klein-ish outfit. The entire ordeal was so outlandish that the whole staff was gossiping about it. Shortly after the endorsement deal wrapped up, Nina Garcia was fired—after Elle had made its money. Or so we hear.


OH! The mother of all reality shows, The Gong Show, premiered last night on Comedy Central. Naturally we forgot all about it, but I’m sure they’re going to re-run the crap out of it. Husband is convinced they’re going to screw it up, I remain cautiously optimistic.