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Intarwebs Hosting: Know Your Rights and Responsibilities

Well, more Responsibilities than Rights, but who’s counting…Just because you insist upon something, it is not automatically true.

  1. The more shrill you get in your insisting, the more less true whatever you’re insisting on becomes.
  2. When we tell you the remote network is queueing the mail for delivery, that’s because it is. Insisting that something is wrong with the server makes you the jerk.

Repeating the same old whinge over and over makes us repeat our responses. Over and over.

Your lack of comprehension is not our problem. If you don’t understand something, ask.

  1. Not understanding that you’re not getting email because you didn’t even set up the email address at which you expected to get email is just pitiful.
  2. Asking for a refund for the time during which you did not receive email because you didn’t set up the email account in question is the very definition of an exercise in futility.

No, it is not our job to keep your crappy software updated. It is yours. If we do anything to help you in this regard, it is a courtesy, and you goddamned better well be courteous throughout the entire process.

Keep a copy of your signup documentation. It’s really kind of silly to forget where your website is hosted/domain is registered.

You know what they say about assuming… If you cannot email someone, let us know the specifics so we can check the mail logs. Do not rush off to dnsstuff.com and start querying things. We guarantee you won’t understand the results, and telling us our servers are misconfigured because of that is just going to get on our nerves.

  1. Do you even know what a stealth nameserver is? No? Then STFU.

Yes, we will suspend you over a $6 past due bill. It does not matter how much you owe, it matters that you pay it on time, just like any other service provider.

If you’re going to resell hosting service, make a frigging effort to learn some basic things. This will save you and your clients a great many big fat tears. And prevent us from hating your very molecules.

Have a nice day.