I try really, really hard not to read the news these days…because I have a family, and they do not need to be coming to visit me in a max security facility every week after I snap and start killing those what need it. Sometimes the headlines just grab you though…Police Arrest Woman Allegedly Wearing Fake Bomb at Boston Airport: This genius is a student at MIT. They seriously need to reconsider their entrance requirements.
Award-Winning Teacher Guilty of Sexually Abusing 11 Students: It would not ordinarily matter what grade this piece of shit was teaching, bullet to the back of the head, just like that other piece of shit. But since he did indeed teach the FIRST GRADE, he gets to be publicly tortured first. I vote for a blowtorch and a pair of needlenosed pliers, myself. I have a theory that the systematic skinning of one of these motherfuckers, broadcast on network television, will do somewhat to control the impulses of others like them. It is worth a try anyway, no?
Confessed Rapist Castrated to Avoid Life Sentence: Ok, geniuses, thanks for wasting the taxpayer’s money. Since rape is *never* about sex, how precisely is this going to accomplish anything? What it will do is deprive the freak of his perceived outlet and ratchet up his inner turmoil until it becomes simpler to just take a claw hammer to his neighbor. Bullets cost almost nothing. I will bring you some, I really will. You can even borrow my Glock.
Prosecutor Accused of Sex Attempt With (truncated) Tries to Kill Himself: A fellow inmate alerted the guards that this human piece of shit was trying to kill himself with a bedsheet. I say we fine the fellow inmate. “Being a public nuisance” ought to cover it. Not that I do not relish the idea of the reward this shitstain is in for after his incarceration, but really, a nice slow, painful, asphyxiation is almost as good.
Updated: Oh yeah…tigers scare the hell out of me.
* Yoinked from the brilliant T