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Disillusionment. Er, Sort Of.

It’s always a shock when a pretty Hollywood face turns out to have absolute mush for brains. *coff* In this case it’s Mister Hardbody, Ryan Reynolds. We love him in movies, but seriously he needs a ball gag when not actually working.Reynolds has turned in a wordy entry over at *spit* Huffington Post (no, I won’t fucking link to it) somehow linking the starvation rampant in other countries on hot dog eating contests popular…wait for it…in the United States.

Young Mustafat, who maintains a strict diet of inner turmoil and bleached hope, looks forward to watching the ESPN-televised event to better understand what gigantically wasteful, fucking super-retards we all are.

What’s this “we” shit, homeslice? Last I heard “you” were from Canuckistan, so how about we ease up on the Sarcastic Pedal there.

I am so, so tired of all these bleeding hearts who believe we who are prosperous should immediately switch to asceticism until every man, woman and child can freely purchase Pop Tarts. Do we all stop seeing while some do not have sunglasses? Do we all stop breathing while some do not have nasal spray? Well, those suggestions are as ludicrous as equating an eating contest with famine. Is Mister Reynolds donating the entirety of his Hollywood-generated fortune to The CauseTM? Or does he, like the rest of us, contribute what we can, when we can?

We’re proud of Ryan-boy, for sure, for his polysyllabic vocabulary, but it’s a pity he can’t use it any more of a sensical fashion.