We love movies. Anyone who’s ever talked to us voice-to-voice knows they have to be on their toes in conversation because certain movie quotes are everyday usage around here. As are Eddie Izzard lines (“do you have a flag?” and “that’s just cheating at Scrabble!”), but that’s a whole other post right there.We particularly cherish what we call Detail Movies, those that might not have been great overall, but that have those details/lines that delight you, ie. Grosse Pointe Blank (“make this gun work” AND “chatty cathy, clip your string”), Super Troopers (“desperation is a stinky cologne”), and The New Guy (“don’t make me go crazy eyes”), just to name a few.
Aaaanyway, here’s some upcoming stuff that makes me all tingly in anticipation:
- Everything by Pixar, evar: Wall-E, Toy Story 3 (!!!), and Up
- Edgar Rice Burroughs John Carter of Mars: Insert girlie squees of absolute delight. Yes, I’m such a book geek that Captain John Carter was my first boycrush. Shutup.
- Hellboy 2: The Golden Army: Now, I’m not a comics geek, but I LOVED the Hellboy character, as (no doubt) interpreted by the filmmakers in the original flick. Ergo, tres excited to see a sequel coming soon.
- National Treasure: Book of Secrets: We loved, loved the first one. History, puzzles, car chases, and explosions, what could be better?
- In the Electric Mist: Let me just expound at length here on this one… This movie is based on a novel by James Lee Burke, called In the Electric Mist With Confederate Dead. I picked this up at a used bookstore ages ago. It’s not the first Dave Robicheaux (the detective hero of the story) book, but it was the first one I read. And it was pure, unadulterated magic. The story was fan-bloody-tastic, and Burke’s prose is both lyrical and stark at the same time. The fact that Tommy Lee Jones is set to play Dave Robicheaux just makes me a little weak in the knees. I don’t care if the man is old enough to be my father, I’ve had the hots for him since Love Story.
Things that do not ever need to see the light of day, yet there they are, scheduled for release anyway:
- John Rambo: We need a new regular-guy-as-superhero just to stop frickin’ Sylvester Stallone from continuing to make sequels to crap that wasn’t sequel-worthy in the first place.
- As yet untitled Star Trek flick, written by that poser who torments people with Lost: It’s dead, Jim. Get over it.
- Terminator 4: Jeebus, let Schwarzenegger govern in peace, ok?
Things I’m kind of conflicted about and should probably seek professional help over:
- Barbarella remake: The original was dull and unimaginative, Jane Fonda’s naked ass and monstrous hairdo notwithstanding. The remake is being done by Robert Rodriguez, and should kick all sorts of ass, particularly if the delicious Salma Hayek is playing the lead role. We all remember the opening credits, right? RIGHT??
- Death Race remake: Another 70s era monstrosity, there is no valid reason whatsoever to resurrect this crap, particularly not by THAT director, already well-known for his betrayal (yes, I said BETRAYAL) of the sci-fi genre. But. With driving the Hell on Earth that it is these days, this movie will provide some very welcome catharsis. At least until the live-action re-enactors get started.
- The Mummy 3: I just love Brendan Fraser. Anything he wants to do, particularly if it involves him in a loincloth, is just fine with me.
Is it wrong of me to track my favorite upcoming movies by release date in a spreadsheet? Nah, didn’t think so.