Tony Stark, as played by Robert Downey Jr (who despite his bad life choices remains a really fine actor), is my favorite billionaire-turned-superhero. Ever. The story was good, overgrown child grows a conscience without being too hippie-tree-hugger, and had moments that had the entire (very crowded) theater both laughing out loud and applauding. Paltrow’s character was a bit under-realized but that always happens to the girl friday character, doesn’t it? Presumably she’ll be a bit more fleshed out in the sequel (!!!!).

Gods love Jon Favreau, as both Stark’s butler, and the director of the movie. I’ve adored him since he was Monica’s Ultimate Fighting Champion boyfriend and he’s done amazing things since then (ie. Emmy-winning Dinner for Five). This movie, and its HUGE opening weekend take, will make him, as Spider-man “made” Sam Raimi (yes, yes Evil Dead, blah blah…that was still considered “indie” stuff until Spider-man). It was a blast from start to finish, even the Girlchild (who had schlepped along her Nintendo in case of boredom) was quite enamored.

One very important note: If you go see it (and you MUST), be very, very, very sure to stay in your seat until after the credits. I swear to you, not a joke, DO NOT MOVE. Fan-bloody-tastic coda.

All the previously sprouted seeds (well the ones who bothered to cooperate) are either in their secondary pots or in their final pots. The tomatoes are trying to give me some yellow-leaf backtalk, sincerely hoping the sodding soil we bought isn’t frickin’ killing them. Though it could be the universe’s insistence on raining right after we’ve watered the bastards.

I am perplexed by the melons… The pineapple melon is doing fine, putting on height and girth, but the tigger melon is just lying there, as if to say, “What now, boss?” Er, grow, ya dumb shit! No idea what its problem is.

The pea plant is completely retarded. It’s six inches tall and already putting out blooms and pea pods! I swear it’s like the Jamie Lynn Spears of the vegetable world.

We bought two trident maples (the only maple that will grown down here *sniff*) about two years ago from a bonsai guy going out of business and they’ve been in the ground getting fat and happy since then. Today we did some major pruning on the only one that is likely to ever be a pot candidate (though HUGE, 3 feet tall) and now have multiple pots out back containing cuttings of various sizes, ALL on hardwood. Let us pray to the rooting gods….omm omm.

The pariser market carrots were sown today, as were the tropea rossa onions, and the rossa savonese onions. Though I’m sure the TORRENTIAL FRICKIN RAIN has exposed all of them by now.

Almost through with all this, the kids discovered what we were up to and now we have pots going of birdhouse gourds (Boychild) and catgrass (Girlchild). *sigh*

Oh, reminds me (don’t ask how), I actually bought a garden journal this year, the main reason being that last year I didn’t record the start date of the carrots, thus had no frickin’ idea when to harvest them. Spent all summer poking dirt back to see if they were “done” yet. I bought this book through Amazon (they offer other states too), and to my utter astonishment, have been scrupulously faithful about keeping it updated. Ignore the homilies and cheesy quotes/illustrations and there’s plenty of room in there to record your garden doings on a weekly basis.

Aside: If you’re not watching the new Food Network show Jamie at Home, you’re missing out. Simple, straightforward, funny, and absolutely mouthwatering dishes.

And now Enchanted…yes, we missed it in the theater, for whatever reason (in two weeks, the reason is always going to be “gots no babysitting” *whinge*). From the opening credits, this movie is a complete love affair with Disney. The animation style, the characterizations, the details pulled from every single Disney movie thusfar, made it an utter delight. This one is a buy-er, folks

Admit it, you wish you were our neighbor.

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Two new episodes of Chuck (easily one of our favorite shows evar) aired Thursday night, we only got around to watching the second one last night. The writers are complete fanboys, which of course makes a show that much more fun to watch. I have to splee over two tidbits from this ep, so if you haven’t watched it yet, don’t click the “read more” thinger…

Well, apparently the “read more” thinger doesn’t sodding work in this theme. Thanks, guys. So, just scroll down…

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The bug Chuck found in the Buy More was a GLG-20 model. Which, of course, is the pay grade of the “agents” in Spies Like Us. All I can say is it is fortunate neither of us was eating when we heard this as oxygen was in short supply for a few moments.

The (inexplicably) Air Force boss-lady told them they only used the EM-50 model bugs. Which, of course, is the name of the Urban Assault Vehicle from Stripes. Again with the lack of oxygen.

Do so love fanboys.

*Title from The Incredibles Brody, er, Buddy

There, aren’t you weirdly compelled to see this stupid movie? You get a voicemail on your cellphone, and it’s your DEATH you’re hearing. And then, you die, exactly as you heard it. WEIRD. And oddly compelling. I can’t even remember the last horror movie I saw in the theater…probably something from Elm Street it’s been that long ago…and this stupid remake of a Japanese film makes me want to hie myself into the theater.

Weirdly compelled, I tell you.

Mildly interesting side note: I couldn’t remember the name of the movie when I decided to write this, but it has that funny-looking girl from that Heath Ledger movie. Which Heath Ledger movie? The one where he’s a knight. Ok, her name is Shannyn Sossamon, so the movie I’m looking for is One Missed Call. Whew. I love IMDB.

So, be warned: many, many super-wide angle images shall ensue. Like the otherwise nonsensical image above of some really gorgeous “Belgian” chocolates (that, incidentally, look about nine million times better than they taste)…

Side note: The choklits were photographed on our wedding china, the gorgeous (and discontinued) Mikasa San Marco. We’ve been married almost 12 years and have used the china exactly never. So, what’s the point of getting china for wedding presents, I ask you?

Girlchild Update: She took her first steroid dose last night, and the clearing of her hives was (nearly) visible to the naked eye. The “doctor” hisself called our house at about 7PM last night to A) re-apologize for the miscommunication, and B) see how she was doing. I suppose I’ll forgive the little puppy, but he’ll never lay a stethoscope on our kids again.

Updated to add: National Treasure Dos (ie. Book of Secrets) was fan-bloody-tastic. But I swear, Nicolas Cage looks like his face is slowly withdrawing into his braincase. Maybe time to hang up the leading man stuff and go back to character parts, Nic. You look weird, man.

I. Can’t. Properly. Enjoy. My. Coffee.

I know it will improve, most likely a great deal slower than I would prefer, but in the immortal words of Inigo Montoya:

“I hate waiting.”

We took the children to see Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium Saturday afternoon. It was utterly delightful, and goes immediately on the purchase-when-issued-on-DVD list. Dustin Hoffman was extremely engaging as the eccentric Magorium, Natalie Portman was personable as always, and the boy who played Eric, you just wanted to hug him he was so cute. Jason Bateman continues to amaze, even though this role didn’t require much of him. If he’s not careful he’s going to find himself going from meth mouth in ladies underwear to the leading man in a big budget chick flick. Woops, too late.

Sunday was A Good Day. Worked a bit in the morning, then played endless games of Connect 4 with the Boychild, while the Girlchild amused herself on youtube (nanny filters ON, Sulu). Then I cheered the Bucs on to a playoff berth while putting together puzzles with the Girlchild, and the Husband and Boychild played a three hour game of Fortress America. It was A Very Good Day.

So, how was your weekend?

Updated to add: It’s 60 whole degrees here today and we’re freezing our toes off…how sick is that??

In our other shopping rounds this weekend we picked up Grindhouse Feature #1 Planet Terror. Oh, what to say, what to say… Not a big fan of watching zombies pull people’s (simulated) guts out, honestly, but this was a highly entertaining movie. My general vague dislike for Rose McGowan was lost in my thorough enjoyment of her utterly cool Cherry Darling character. “Useless skill #37,” is now in our permanent lexicon.

And El Wray…oh, El Wray. I’d first seen Freddy Rodriguez in Scrubs (no, we were never Six Feet Under fans, kthx), where he plays Nurse Turkleton’s brother. He was deadpan and kind of subdued in that role, so, eh, nothing special. As El Wray, he steals the entire movie. It helps, I know, that he’s the absolute antithesis of every Horror Movie star, evar…he’s decisive, experienced, absolutely deadly with any weapon, possesses multiple skills that will save the survivors, and he is a Good Man. Also my new favorite horror movie character of all time. “I never miss.”

So, Planet Terror…exactly what you think it is, but still very entertaining.

Ran across this “game” on Neat-O-Rama last night, and spent a good bit of time decreasing my visual acuity playing it: Free Rice Vocabulary Quiz

It’s not so much a game as a…gimmick, I suppose. “For each word you get right, we donate 10 grains of rice to a hungry person through an international aid agency.” Yeah, donations to hungry people are good…it’s the “grains” bit that kind of torques me. I’m sure it’s meant to entice you to play for quite some time, but that reward for the hungry people just seems a bit…stingy.

And seriously, these people need protein too, you know.

Still, it’s fun to stretch your brain on some of these words. The words on Level 50 are arse-kickers.

Finally, I forgot quite how much cartilage piercings hurt. OW.

How we missed the theatrical release of Hot Fuzz is utterly beyond me. I’m just going to have to blame whatever studio released the thing for not making me sit up and pay attention.

Here’s a hint, fellas….lead with something like “From the Devastatingly Funny Creators of Shaun of the Dead…” Just a thought.

Anyway, if you haven’t seen either of these movies, hie thee to a store and buy them. (Or Netflix them if you’re one of those see-before-you-buy weirdos.) Hot Fuzz is a loving, if somewhat campy, tribute to the late 70s/early 80s cop drama/shoot-em-up, that somehow manages to make pasty English boys into near-sex symbols.

Yeah, even Nick Frost.

“Yeah, he does,” I admit.

“But…but, you hate people,” he says.

And it’s true, I really cannot stand people. Oh, I like several different persons, but people as a whole are extremely vexing. I hate, hate, hate stories about the “human condition.” (Thanks in no small part to an emotionally unavailable and insufferably pretentious ex-boyfriend who doted on such things.) Life sucks, get over it. Sure, some people manage to drag themselves out of the mire and be heroes, but far more are suited only to the sanitization of telephones, and therefore expendable. So don’t try to sell me on the nobility of the human animal because it don’t got any.*

Ergo my love for WA movies. The characters in them all pretty much despise other people as well. The Royal Tenenbaums, Steve Zissou, Rushmore (this last, which to be fair, I hated)…are all peopled by highly intelligent characters with little tolerance for the friggin’ idiots with which they are surrounded.

True, that isn’t actually a major plot point of any of those films, just an observation on my part with which I am making my point. Which was…er, there’s a new Wes Anderson movie coming out soon, hurrah!

*Any grammatical abberations such as the above-noted example are done intentionally and purely for emphasis. Should you be naive enough to believe I have used such out of ignorance on my part, you’re more than welcome to voice same in the comments. Gird your loins for thorough humiliation, however.

This time Willis is giving us an older/wiser McClane. Oh, he’ll still mouth off, but he’s actually more mature, and it is a much more enjoyable version of the character. There are numerous inside references for longtime viewers, such as McClane’s daughter calling herself Lucy Gennaro instead of Lucy McClane, and an FBI agent named Johnson, which is always a smart way to make your audience feel invested in a movie. The addition of the Mac kid, Justin Long, was a very fine call by someone. I’ve adored him since his Ed days, and he’s good addition here. Lucy, McClane’s daughter all grown up, is played by Mary Elizabeth Winstead (also known as the bad guy/girl/whatever in Sky High) and she damned near steals the movie out from under the big boys. She is McClane’s daughter, after all…and all that that implies.

The bad guy this time around is played by the newest occupant of my Laminated List, Timothy Olyphant. Previously mesmerizing as Sheriff Seth Bullock in Deadwood, he runs a close second at show-stealing behind Lucy. Nobody delivers sarcastic lines like this guy, absolutely deadpan. Yet you do not once think he WON’T shoot you in the head post-deadpan line delivery.

Some credit has got to be given to the director here. I wouldn’t know Len Wiseman if he stuck his tongue in my ear (other than he’s the improbably hot husband of the improbably hot Kate Beckinsale), but he apparently took the stunt crew aside and said, ‘Let’s take this bitch up to eleven.’ The gag we’ve all seen in the trailer (where the two cars stop the one flipping car from smushing McClane and the Kid), is still spectacular, despite having seen it a dozen times already. Everything else in the movie puts it to shame. Everything. But most especially the tunnel scene. Don’t be off peeing during the tunnel scene. My only complaint with Wiseman is his borrow-ation (is that a word) of certain Michael Bay shots. To be expected, I spose, since he’s basically a protege, but still, buddy, let’s avoid the slo-mo setup shots in future, ok?

Suspension of disbelief is REQUIRED for this movie, just like all the others. All the tech slinging/haxxoring is absolutely bogus, the stunts improbable and breathtaking at the same time, and McClane NOT winding up with 97 broken bones is completely unpossible. However, if you’re going to this movie expecting a serious film, then you’re the sucker. You know what Die Hard is…McClane kicking the shit out of the bad guys. Leave your expectations at the door and you’ll have just as much fun as we did.